Well, I want to be able to come up with a plan about our money together, but I think she needs some space from me right now. Actually, this whole week, she has needed some. Shit, even as I type this, I am hiding from her. I just snuck a sugar soda so she would not see me. Am I trying to protect her or myself? I am even opening it quietly so she does not hear.
I do not want to face the money!! There is a specific payment that we really should make, but it would set us back a bit. But we have already received the services and they cannot be returned. Shit, what should I do. First thing I should do is enter all receipts, so at least I am working with real funds. Then download transactions so all posted are present. Then see what is left and make some decisions.
I have feelings about all of this, including, and this is the funniest one, that this post is not better, more complete, more accurate, etc! Man, my brain is funny!!
8:51PM - just a short hour later, I want to look at porn! Or at least stay up really late "working on pictures". I want to be distracted from "...I don't have enough money!" I don't want to call all of these people and tell them that I do not have the money to pay them.
8:51PM - just a short hour later, I want to look at porn! Or at least stay up really late "working on pictures". I want to be distracted from "...I don't have enough money!" I don't want to call all of these people and tell them that I do not have the money to pay them.
1 comment:
Jeff,
Don't look at the porn.
You've come too far. Don't go back into that "dark place."
You're a good Man. This will all work out.
For me, it took a leap of faith; to get OUT of Houston (Rat Race) and to a place where the cost of living wasn't so high.
It worked!
Forge forward and find what is right for you and your family.
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